There's a horizon line; past the deep earth embedded, in what her dad refers to as rattlesnake territory. Left to right, low to high, it climbs until there is the absence of direction. And above this, in front of this, the trees rooted in the high terra are naked. New England winds, they are blowing through here tonight, while the gravity eats away at her eyes and pulls them down, even while her neck strains upward.

She shivers, they shiver, we shiver. The earth skeletals move branches, she has been afflicted with a chronic case of deep cold and her skeletals move with them.

We shiver. Lunar crescent and stars, so many stars, more than she has seen since she left for Paris this past September. spine, spine and neck arch up with a ridiculously sentimental urge to take these trees in her arms and become organic matter, exist in a plane without time, absence of it, absences abound, in a deep aching embrace of pure empathy. Empathy that erupts, unconsidered, unplanned, rich and sad in its way. We skeletal appendages, yes.

All the usual words died further down from the lips, in the gut, there they simmer steadily and once in a while, threaten to erupt. But they always slide back down. Sure, they're there, but they moved on from little girl dramatics and into a sort of shock. i believed in you, i can't believe fathom there's just no damn word for it, that this happened, that i always so truly believe in your inability to let me down, i really believed it. and now, after telling those you have and hadn't met yet that you'd be arriving, the love of my life and the reason for every catalyst action result in the past 2 years, disappears
and yes. i am embarrassed. I feel unable to face the same faces because I am ashamed I believed in you and yet

so she found god in the trees instead.

and that was okay too.

so she instead

and that was okay too.